In Loving Memory to our beloved Son Landon James Gonzalez 2001-2018

Eulogy for Landon James Gonzalez

by Rosalyn Gonzalez

Nov 28, 2018

I would first like to thank all of Landon’s friends and family who have gathered together today to honor his memory and life. I would also like to thank anyone gathering to support those who are grieving the loss of Landon, as this burden is not easy to carry. The generosity of people who have poured in from all over has been some of the only light in this dark time. We are grateful for every message of comfort, small favor, and meal generously prepared for us. Despite the pain we are in, the chance to gather around all the lives that Landon had an impact on and share stories, photos, and tears has brought us peace that I never would have believed to be possible.

Landon’s sudden death is shocking to many of you in this room. Not everyone knew about his ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, which took him from us on

November 21st, 2018. This is often the case with suicides, especially when the victims are young, and do not yet have the ability to express the pain they were in. Landon was

sick, and he faced the sickness with bravery and strength. It was difficult to determine what could have healed him, and due to the current state of the mental healthcare system, many more lives are currently at risk. How many more deaths will it take before we take this crisis seriously?

It is more important now than ever to remember that this pain that seems so bottomless, unforgiving, and dark is only a result of the deep love we felt for Landon. He gave so much love and light to us, because of this there is no question that my life, and many lives in this room are now marked as before and after this tragedy. For the rest of my life I will struggle with the knowledge that my brother wasn’t allowed the chance to grow old with us. It is almost unbearably painful to imagine what could have been, and it is easy to be engulfed by this pain and lose sight of what was.

His life seems far too short. There are unanswered questions, and the unavoidable guilt that many of us feel. But Landon lived a full, vibrant life that was buzzing with energy,

laughter and warmth. Landon had exponentially more happy moments than sad ones. By some miracle, I was blessed to be this extraordinary human being’s sister. I was so

lucky to be able to watch him grow, and grow alongside him. Because of this, Landon’s character, courage, and energy for life are sewn into the fiber of my being and my soul,

and this is true for everyone who saw Landon’s light. The amount of laughter and joy he brought into this world far outweighs how short of a time he had.

Landon lived life with a sense of bold, brash fearlessness. When he thought something was funny, everyone within a mile radius of him could hear his screaming laughter. His

ridiculous pranks, handshakes, and jokes are well known among anyone close to him. On top of being deeply sympathetic, and caring for his loved ones and pets, Landon had this remarkable talent and intelligence that was so rare and special. I could go down the list things Landon mastered with ease, we’d be here all night. Despite knowing him my

whole life, it would still surprise me that such a goofy, cheeky kid could sit down and, with ease, create a composition on piano that was prodigious and heartrending. His passion for life was magnetic and contagious.

The most important thing to remember is this. You do not have to be strong. Do not be afraid to admit you are suffering. You are loved. Your life is so incredibly precious, and any pain that you may be in now is temporary, as all things in this world are. These beautiful moments we are fleeting. They pass by and we wonder if we appreciated them enough, when instead we should be focusing on the moments that we have. Love each other, hold each other close, look after each other, and place ourselves into God’s loving embrace.

Crisis services

24/7 Crisis Hotline: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Veterans, press 1 when calling.

Crisis Text Line
Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7

Veterans Crisis Line
Send a text to 838255

Vets4Warriors

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (Substance Abuse)
1-800-662-HELP (4357)

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474

The Trevor Project
1-866-488-7386

Also visit your:

• Primary care provider
• Local psychiatric hospital
• Local walk-in clinic
• Local emergency department
• Local urgent care center

Woodlawn Memorial Park Gotha Florida

Homily at the Memorial Service for Landon Gonzalez

Homily at Memorial Service for Landon

Rev. Megan Collins

Most of you don’t know me. 

I’m Megan, and I’m a pastor at Maitland Presbyterian Church. 

I’m here tonight because I care about Landon’s mom and dad, and his brother and sister. 

I’m here because I care about each of you.

I’m here because when something like this happens, we need all of us to get together. We need to support one another, and we need to talk.

The first thing we need to talk about is that this is hard. Really, really hard. 

For everyone here. Everyone in this room loved Landon. 

He was kind and funny and affectionate.

He loved his friends and playing in the band and playing video games and making funnel cakes. 

He lit up any room he was in and brought joy to all those who knew him. 

There’s no way tonight that we can say enough about him, about what he meant to everyone here. 

Some of you are members of his family. 

Some of you are his friends. 

And some of you are his band friends, which is really a family in its own rite. 

So this is hard. 

Death is always hard, but when it happens like this, it’s different. 

Suicide is different.

It’s harder for us. 

We have so many questions. 

It’s hard to know how to feel. What to say. So let’s start by saying that no matter what you are feeling today, it’s okay. 

Some of you might be feeling really sad. 

A kind of sad that is impossible to really put into words. 

But it takes your breath away. 

Some of you might feel angry, even if you aren’t sure who you are really angry with, but it you feel it gnawing in you.

Some of you have questions that no one can answer and you are frustrated. Some of you aren’t feeling anything. 

You are just ….numb.

Some of you might feel exhausted, or like you can’t think straight, like there is a fuzziness in your

mind that you just can’t shake.

All of those feelings are okay, and really normal, by the way.

Because when you love someone like Landon and then he is gone, it’s going to be hard, for a long time.

Some days will be really difficult. And that’s okay.

And some days may feel a little easier, like you can breathe again.  Or at some point even laugh again.

And that’s okay too.

Grief comes and goes like that, often when we least expect it.

So take it one day at a time.

Or maybe for now one minute a time.

But there is one thing some of you might be thinking that I want to address head on.

I know there is someone here tonight who is thinking that this is at least partly their fault.

You might be wondering if there is something you could have done that would make it so Landon

would still be here. 

Something that maybe you could have said.

If that’s you, look right here, and listen.

This is not your fault.

And blaming yourself isn’t going to make things better.

So, take a deep breath, and let go of any guilt that you are carrying around with you.

There are also some of you here tonight who are struggling so much you aren’t sure how you will get

through it.

That’s okay too.

But maybe it’s time to talk to someone.

If you are feeling like you don’t know how you will get through this, or something else you are facing in your life, if you aren’t sure how you will wake up tomorrow, here is what I want you to know:

You are not alone.

You don’t have to do this alone.

You have friends who want to support you.

But you also have a lot of adults who want to be there for you.

There are parents and grandparents in this room who would do anything for you,

There are counselors at your school who want to talk to you

There are adults you have never met waiting to answer hotlines any hour of the day when you need

them

There are pastors and teachers and coaches who care about you

And you don’t know me. But I care about you too.

If you are thinking tonight that you don’t matter.

You do.

If you are thinking tonight that you will never feel okay again.

You will.

If you are thinking tonight that you really don’t have anyone you can talk to, You do.

I can’t promise I’ll have all the answers. No one does.

Depression and anxiety and the diseases we fight don’t have easy answers.

But I can promise you you aren’t alone.

Because we are here for you.

And God is here for you, too.

We are here in a church, tonight, because this is hard.

We can bring the hardest things we face to God.

We are here in a church because this is a place we can ask difficult questions, not only of one another,

but of God. We can bring all of those emotions to God too - when we are sad or numb or frustrated and

even when we are angry.

God wants us to bring all of that to Him, because He loves you.

We are also here in a church because Landon, and his family, and a lot of us here, believe that in Jesus

Christ we have hope.

We believe that the God of the universe loved each of us. And because God loved us, God came in the

way we needed, as a person named Jesus.

Jesus was a real man, who lived just like we do, who dealt with the same things we do.

And after he died, he rose up from the dead, alive.

Because he wasn’t just a man, he was the Son of God.

Then he promised us that if we love him, when we die we go to heaven to be with him,

as Landon is now.

Because there is nothing that can take away God’s love of us, no question we ask, no emotion we feel,

nothing we do, not even death.

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to

come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us

from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The Rev. Megan Collins, Co-Pastor

Maitland Presbyterian Church

341 N Orlando Avenue Maitland, FL 32751

Suicide Prevention Lifeline Link

A Hymn of Praise: O God Beyond All Praise

O God Beyond All Praise by Michael Perry

Lyrics

O God beyond all praising,
     we worship you today
and sing the love amazing
     that songs cannot repay;
for we can only wonder
     at every gift you send,
at blessings without number
     and mercies without end:
we lift our hearts before you
     and wait upon your word,
we honor and adore you,
     our great and mighty Lord.

The flower of earthly splendor
     in time must surely die,
its fragile bloom surrender
     to you the Lord most high;
but hidden from all nature
     the eternal seed is sown -
though small in mortal stature,
     to heaven's garden grown:
for Christ the Man from heaven
     from death has set us free,
and we through him are given
     the final victory!

Then hear, O gracious Savior,
     accept the love we bring,
that we who know your favor
     may serve you as our king;
and whether our tomorrows
     be filled with good or ill,
we'll triumph through our sorrows
     and rise to bless you still:
to marvel at your beauty
     and glory in your ways,
and make a joyful duty
     our sacrifice of praise.

Presbyterian Hymnbook #431

Glory TO God 2013 John Knox Press

PCUSA Store

A Prayer of General Thanksgiving

Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise
for all that you have done for us.
We thank you for the splendor of the whole creation,
for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life, 
and for the mystery of love. 

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends,
and for the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures
that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone. 

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; 
for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; 
for his steadfast obedience, by which he overcame temptation, for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom. 

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and make him known; and through him, at times and in all places, may give thanks to you in all things.  Amen.


From the Book of Common Prayer (1979)

Book of Common Prayer on line

Thomas Aquinas Prayer for Students

True source of light and wisdom,

origin of all being,

graciously let a ray of your light penetrate

the darkness of my understanding.

Take from me the double darkness

in which I have been born,

an obscurity of sin and ignorance.

Give me a keen understanding,

a retentive memory, and

the ability to grasp things

correctly and fundamentally.

Grant me the talent

of being exact in my explanations

and the ability to express myself

with thoroughness and charm.

Point out the beginning,

direct the progress,

and help in the completion.

I ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

St. Thomas Aquinas

For All the Saints

All Saints Sunday celebrated on the first of November has a long tradition in the Christian Calendar dating back to the early church's commemoration of martyrs that died for their faith.  The hymn "For All the Saints" sometimes sung at funerals, is a good hymn to open any All Saints service.  If your church does not hold a service on All Saints day consider the same emphasis on the Sunday closest to the Nov 1.  The book of Hebrews in the eleventh chapter remembers the 'heroes' of the faith.  This is a Sunday to not only remember those that have died in the past year, but to draw encouragement from the many faithful Christians that have come before us.  Below are the words of the hymn.  

For All the Saints

For all the saints who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith before the world confess,
Thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest,
Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou wast their Rock, their Fortress, and their Might;
Thou, Lord, their Captain in the well-fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

Oh, may Thy soldiers, faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints who nobly fought of old
And win with them the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

O blest communion, fellowship divine,
We feebly struggle, they in glory shine;
Yet all are one in Thee, for all are Thine.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

And when the fight is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

But, lo, there breaks a yet more glorious day;
The saints triumphant rise in bright array;
The King of Glory passes on His way.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

From earth's wide bounds, from ocean's farthest coast,
Through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,
Singing to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
Alleluia! Alleluia!

The golden evening brightens in the west;
Soon, soon, to faithful warriors cometh rest.
Sweet is the calm of Paradise the blest.
Alleluia! Alleluia!

copyright in the public domain 

#528 The Presbyterian Hymnal
Sine Nomine 10.10.10
William Walsham How, 1864

Immigration Debate Heats Up Again

The recent migration of thousands in the 'caravan' has once again lit up the immigration debate ahead of the US elections.  In the midst of the heated rhetoric, I want to post some thoughts for consideration and a clarification on my personal position. 

I do not support "open borders".  Undocumented person's crossing illegally put themselves in mortal peril, many have died in the desert with no food and water.  They are taken advantage of by smugglers.  Cartels run illegal drugs from the borders.   While I do not support porous borders,  I do support an increase in legal immigration. At a time when we are seeing a great need for assistance for refugees and asylum seekers (wars in Middle East, unrest in Central America, droughts in many parts of the world) the Trump administration is slashing refugee resettlement.  Persecution of religious minorities is at an all high as more countries become authoritarian and violate human rights. There is a greater need now for refugee resettlement than ever before. 

Yet, the Trump administration has said the country will admit 30,000 refugees in 2019. Close to 70,000 were admitted in 2015. From 1990-95 the US admitted 112,000 refugees. Why is Donald Trump cutting down on refugee settlements if the issue is 'illegal' immigration. Why has the Trump administration called on an end to "chain migration" another legal immigration avenue. There is nothing illegal about either our refugee resettlement program or family based migration. Both have had positive impacts on our economy and diversity over the years.  Immigration is a long standing tradition in our country.  

Finally, why has the president called for an end to the 14th amendment, birth-rite citizenship, a 150 year tradition that has assisted assimilation of immigrants in our country?  Even as a suggestion, this should alarm any freedom loving tyrant hating patriot.  If the President can with the swipe of a pen undue an amendment to the constitution (which he cannot) what is to prevent a future president from doing so.  Would any amendment be safe?   I do not support porous open borders, I do support increasing legal immigration, processing asylum claims in a humane manner, and most importantly upholding our constitution and the rule of law. Over turning the 14th amendment will undue one of our countries finest legacies.  

Prayer for Pittsburgh

October 27, 2018by Jill Duffield

Lord, we know your power, your promises and your presence, but on days like today when your chosen people are gunned down in your holy house we question everything we thought we knew about you, about humanity, about ourselves. How can such hate fester and plot, destroy and kill? How can those created in your image and called good commit such horrendous acts? How have we gotten to this place? Where do we go from here?

Lord, help us. Help us rise up and resist evil with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. Help us confront the hate within and without that is overtaking our land. Comfort, O comfort your people, Lord. We beg for an outpouring of compassion and love to overwhelm the scourge of violence besetting our communities.
May we relentlessly speak up for and reach out to our Jewish brothers and sisters and all of those reeling in fear as they simply go about their daily living. 

Grant us the courage, the will and the stamina to live every day with faith, hope, mercy, kindness and justice until crying and mourning and death and hate are no more. We pray in the name of our Savior, a Jewish man from Nazareth, Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. Amen.

Jill Duffield Presbyterian Outlook 

Reprinted with permission from the Presbyterian Outlook.

This prayer is written by Jill Duffield and was printed in the Presbyterian Outlook.   Presbyterian Outlook seeks to provide Presbyterians and others with news and information about the mission and work of God in the world.

This prayer is reprinted by permission
For subscription information go to the links below: become a subscriber today!

Jill Duffield Prayer for Pittsburg

Presbyterian Outlook subscribe today

Rev Eugene Peterson dies at 85

Longtime ‘pastor to pastors’ served at PC(USA) church in Maryland

By Kathy Melvin | Presbyterian News Service

Eugene Peterson lecturing at University Presbyterian Church in Seattle in 2009. File photo

LOUISVILLE – The Rev. Eugene Peterson, a pastor, author and scholar, died Monday morning at his home in Montana. He was 85.
He had been hospitalized since early October because of a serious infection, according to his son, Eric Peterson.

In 1962, Eugene Peterson was a founding pastor of Christ Our King Presbyterian Church, a PC(USA) church in Bel Air, Maryland, where he served for 29 years before retiring in 1991. He wrote over 30 books but is best known for The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language, a paraphrase of the Christian Scriptures that sold over 16 million copies worldwide.

Peterson was born in East Stanwood, Washington, and grew up in Kalispell, Montana. He earned a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from Seattle Pacific University, a bachelor of sacred theology degree from New York Theological Seminary (formerly the Biblical Seminary of New York) and a master’s degree in Semitic languages from Johns Hopkins University. He was also awarded several honorary doctoral degrees.

He retired from public life in 2017 after publishing his last book, As Kingfishers Catch Fire: A Conversation on the Ways of God Formed by the Words of God.  A statement issued by his family on Monday talked about his last few days. “During the previous days, it was apparent that he was navigating the thin and sacred space between earth and heaven. We overheard him speaking to people we can only presume were welcoming him into paradise. … Among his final words were, ‘Let’s go.’ And his joy: my oh my; the man remained joyful right up to his blessed end, smiling frequently.”

Diane Moffett, president and executive director of the Presbyterian Mission Agency, said of Peterson: “I am profoundly grateful for the life and legacy of Eugene Peterson. He was a gift to the church and the world.  His work of translating the Bible into plain language helped increase the understanding of Scripture and its application to everyday life. His unique contribution will live on well past his earthly existence. May God’s peace be with him and his family.”

Peterson’s funeral service in scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 3, at 1 p.m. MDT at First Presbyterian Church, 540 S. Main Street, Kalispell, Montana. Overflow seating will be available across the street at the Bethlehem Lutheran Church. A live-stream of the service will be available through a link on the church’s website at fpckalispell.org. Expressions of sympathy can be sent to Janice Peterson, his wife of 60 years, at P.O. Box 732, Lakeside, MT 59922-0732.

Link to Presbyterian Mission Agency site original source

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDeratives 4.0 International License.

The Role of Politics in Christian Context

click on the video link to launch the video from Youtube. 

Another political year is upon us here in the USA.  Though not a presidential election year, the midterms will see key offices for governor, representatives, senators and other local offices on the ballot.  Hanging in the balance will be the control of congress by either party.  As usual, these times can be politically volatile.  Christians often seem to ignore the fact that no party represents the 'christian' party.  Certainly, no party can in anyway lay claim to the kingdom of God.  Parties, like nations are by nature tribal and divisive.  The Kingdom of God on the other hand calls people from every nation, tribe, and earthly kingdom to a new allegiance.   So likewise, as I have written on previous blogs, no party can claim to capture the christian vote.  One example I have cited is the position on the sanctity of life as held by the Roman Catholic Church.   In simple terms, their understanding of the sanctity of life results in a strong view against contraception and abortion which currently aligns with the Republican Party (USA), but equally strong views against capital punishment, in favor of immigration and asylum rights, the rights of the poor, and the importance of welfare for the neediest in society, these align closer to the Democratic Party (USA).

These issues should be looked at in their complexity.  For example, even with the abortion issue it is not an open and close case in the Roman Catholic church.  While the church does not support either the taking of a child's life to save the mother or vice versa, it does recognize that medically neutral and necessary procedures to save the mother may have unintended consequences for the life of the child.  For more info on the view of the Roman Catholic church on abortion see the link below.  Protestant denominations have traditionally held more liberal views on abortion.  This illustrates the complex nature of these political arguments, and the fact that Christian denominations have often interpreted views such as abortion in different ways, while still upholding essentially a high regard for life.

So what should be the role of the church in the political context.  One answer comes from N.T. Wright who reminds the church that its role is to hold up a mirror to those in power and not necessarily try to control power in order to bring about one particular vision of a 'christian' society.  He argues that the role currently held by the media was once a role that was the function of the church.  The PC(USA) office of public witness is an example of what N.T.Wright is talking about, a non-partisan office of the Presbyterian church that seeks to advocate for important social issues that stem from Christians understanding of the gospel.  Wright himself illustrates how basic social welfare has always been traditionally part of the church's social witness.  In the current volatile political climate, it is increasing important for Christians to reflect on the role of the church as a part of society that holds politicians accountable as suggested by N.T. Wright. 

It is important for us to remember that there are many issues where good Christians will disagree.  Abortion is one of those issues.  There are complexities that do not make for a clear black and white answer as to when life begins, or which life should be prioritized.  On the other hand, there are tenets that are critical to the core of Christianity.  While whether Christians should own guns, abortion, contraception, and many other politicized opinions are not essential for Christian belief, issues of racism and discrimination are clearly addressed in scripture and go to the core of the Christian message of love, acceptance and charity.  

Roman Catholic Diocese view on abortion

PC(USA) views on abortion

ELCA Lutheran view on abortion

ACNA view on abortion

Greek Orthodox View on Abortion